Beckham's Birth (& Picture Overload)

He's here :)

My sweet little boy has finally arrived and we could not be happier.

 

 

5/15/15 started out like any other day.

Chris and I then went to our OB appointment at 2:00 and the doc stripped my

membranes and gave me a 50/50 chance of going into labor.

When I went home, I felt great (as in no contractions) for a couple of hours.

Then, as I was watching Ellen, I noticed some were starting to come

every few minutes.

I didn't think anything of it since I've been contracting like that for weeks

and they still weren't painful.

By about 6:00 they were getting a little bit uncomfortable.

I had my mom paint my nails (just in case: you gotta have a good manicure during labor!)

and then Chris and I decided to go on a walk.

It was during this time that things started to get intense.

It reminded me EXACTLY of how things played out during Scarlett's labor,

so I was starting to think that this could be the real deal.

Once we got back from the walk, I asked Chris to switch Scarlett's

car seat to my parents car in case they would need to babysit

and I went upstairs to pack up a few last minute things and get the bags in the car.

When I came down with all of our stuff in tow, I think Chris

finally realized that I meant business.

I politely asked him to please move the carseat again (he hadn't been in any rush)

and we got things ready to go.

My sister and her whole family had just gotten to the house for a visit,

which was a little awkward because I was breathing and working through contractions.

I said a quick hello and then Chris and I headed to the hospital.

He asked if I wanted to stop and get a bite to eat,

but I quickly shut down that idea.  Things were escalating quickly.

The nurse checked my cervix at 8:45 pm and I was still dilated to a 3,

which is what I was in the doctor's office earlier that afternoon.

I was devastated.  How could I be wrong about this?

I KNEW that this was exactly how I felt with my first labor,

and I'm an L/D nurse, so you would think I would know if I were in true labor.

They told me they would recheck me in an hour,

and in that hour the contractions just got more and more intense and I thought I was going to die.

I wanted my cervix to change, I wanted to be admitted, and most importantly,

I wanted my epidural NOW.

The next time the nurse came in, I was crying with every contraction.

She checked me again and I had changed to a 4.

I was so relieved that that was my ticket to being admitted but she said,

"we might have to wait another hour and see if you change more"

HECK NO!

Come to find out, she was a pretty new nurse.

She went out, talked to her charge nurse, and came right back into the room

saying that they were admitting me.

Yeah, that was more like it ;)

They got me to my room, and very quickly got my IV

and got anesthesia in for my epidural.

I literally felt out of control with my contractions.

I didn't think I could deal with the pain anymore and I thought I was acting ridiculous.

Chris told me later though that I was hardly making any noise and just closed

my eyes, squeezed his hand, and breathed through them.

HA, not how I remember it.

 

This was after I got my epidural...

 

But this is more how I looked the whole time :)

Yuck.

 

 

So anesthesia was super quick in getting my epidural in, for which I was grateful..

but I was still feeling everything on one side.

Exactly what happened with Scarlett :(

My doctor came in to break my water around 10:30 and

I was dilated to a 5.

After that, anesthesia came back, gave me some extra medicine,

and I finally got some relief.

After I was comfy, around 11:15, the nurse checked me again and I was completely dilated!

I couldn't believe it.

I thought there was NO WAY I would deliver on the 15th (I thought it'd be the coolest birthday)

but now I was thinking maybe there was a chance.

We called my mom to get over to the hospital right away,

Chris went down to get the camera, and I was ready to go.

The clock was ticking and the doc still hadn't come in.

By now it was 11:45 and I was freaking out.

I kept saying "we need to get him in here so I can start pushing!  I want to deliver on the 15th!"

He must've sensed my urgency because right then the doc arrived,

the nurses set up the room, and I started to push.

 

Getting ready to push!

 

Here we go!
I literally couldn't feel anything, and didn't know if I was actually pushing.
But the doc said I was doing great.

I pushed for about four contractions and there he was!!

It all happened SO fast.
Little Beckham Christopher Lillenberg was born at 11:53 pm,
weight 7 pounds 13 ounces, and was 19 inches long.

Cutting the cord

We were instantly smitten.

A few hours later I wrote down some thoughts.
May 16th 2015 3:40 am
Dear Beckham,
You're here!  I didn't have time to write down any thoughts before because
you came so fast and now I'm holding you in my arms- I can hardly
believe it!
I wondered how I would feel with a little boy, but it was instant love and tenderness.
I felt an instant bond as we snuggled skin to skin.
I can't believe I get to be your mommy!
I am beyond blessed and I hope I can do a good enough job. 
I am so eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing us with you.
You are beyond perfect.
You have the sweetest little round face, a  decent amount of super dark hair,
and perfectly shaped toes unlike your sister :)
I couldn't be happier at this moment and am so glad you've joined our little family.
We love you, Beckham!

 

Things have been pretty great this past week.

Little Beck is the sweetest baby and has such a special spirit about him.

Scarlett is slowly but surely coming around

to the idea that baby is here to stay.

She's been a little more emotional and needy, but that was to be expected

and we're trying to figure out how to give them both the attention they need.

But overall, we are so happy to have this little boy and

be a family of FOUR!!

 

Special thanks to my sweet mama for taking our delivery pictures!

38 Weeks and Maternity Pictures

Thanks to my wonderful hubby for taking these pictures for me :)

He'd much rather be taking them than be posing in them with me, haha.

 

This field was so gorgeous.

Unfortunately we got kicked out after about five minutes,

apparently it was private property and we were unaware.  Oops!

 

 

It's hard to believe that I only have AT MOST one week left of being pregnant!

Hallelujah!

I am at that point where I am soooo ready to be done and meet this little guy.

And we really are ready, I think!

Chris is finally home from California, maternity pictures are done,

car seat is installed (ALL by myself, by the way!),

and Chris and I had our final date night last night,

so I'd say we're all set!!

And my doc stripped my membranes today, which he said gives

me a 50/50 chance of going into labor.

Let me tell you, that stuff is no joke.

I can empathize with my patients a little more, cause it was

one of the most awful things I've ever been through!

I really just want to have him early so that my brother can meet him!

They had a last minute change of plans for PA school and are moving

on Monday, so we gotta get this thing going so they can meet little man.

It's obviously a sign that we got this fortune last night:
a birthday party, perhaps??  5/15/15 would be a pretty dang cool birthday
if you ask me!
 

Coldstone knows how to hook a pregnant girl up!
Tallest mountain of cake batter ice cream I ever did see.
It was a feat, but I was up for the challenge.
And boy, did I conquer!
 

Fingers crossed that something will happen soon!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day. It didn't start off too hot, to be honest. The night before I couldn't fall asleep until 3 am. Then scarlett, who normally sleeps til 10, decided to wake up at 5. For no good reason of course. I tried everything, but every time I closed the door she would be hysterical again. Very frustrating- and add to that she slapped me in the face four times and we had to deal with time-out. Plus Chris is out of town. Didn't think it'd be that big of a deal, but as I battled my toddler, I could hear my dad downstairs making his traditional omelet breakfast in bed for my mom and just wishing that I had my other half by my side. I was feeling pretty low and prayed to my Heavenly Father to help me remember all the joyful things about being a mother. But it was hard, I'm not going to lie. Because motherhood is one of the hardest things I've ever done. The time, energy, lack of sleep, testing of patience, worrying about where they are and if they're safe every second of the day, and the constant praying that you're doing SOMETHING right- it can all be overwhelming. And today was definitely one of those days. I knew I needed to go to church to get some sort of spiritual upliftment, but honestly, the only things that got me out the door this morning were that they were giving out chocolate for Mother's Day, and that I could drop scarlett off in nursery and have two hours of peace. And that's ok I think, because it DID get me out the door, and I WAS spiritually uplifted. We had an awesome lady speak on motherhood who has 12 children. You'd think someone with 12 kids would have it all figured out but every story she told I was screaming in my head, yes! That's just like us! Hallelujah, it's not just me who struggles! 

Anyway, after church, a much needed nap, and a nice long chat with my sweet sweet husband who patiently listens to all of my complaints and tears, I was feeling much better. 

And now as I type this blog post, I'm snuggling and rocking my sweet baby girl as she sleeps. And there is nothing more special. And I realize that my days of snuggling just me and her are rapidly drawing to a close. She's growing up too fast, and we'll have another baby to watch over and give us sleepless nights very soon. I'm so grateful to be a mother. Yes, it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

37 weeks!

 

 

It's finally here- I'm term!

And I realized that I haven't blogged in FOREVER so I thought it was about time.

Pregnancy's been going as good as I could hope for!

It's gone by super fast, mainly because I don't have time to really think about it much

with chasing Scarlett around.

That's been the biggest change and the hardest challenge through the whole thing:

the tiny bit of energy I have is spent on trying to take care of my sweet toddler,

but it is completely exhausting and sometimes I feel like a bad mom

that I can't run around and play with her like I want to :(

 

But other than that, things are good.

I've been having lots of contractions, but nothing super regular.

I had my 37 week appointment today and I'm 2-3 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced.

Good place to start!

And I've got my induction date scheduled for May 22nd!  Woohoo!

I am not usually an advocate for elective inductions,

I've just seen my fair share of failed inductions that result in C-Sections

and would much prefer to allow my body to do its thing on its own...

but our timing is so tight with family reunions and then moving for dental school,

that I don't really have time to wait around for this little dude!

Maybe he'll just be awesome and decide to come on his own sooner than that!

But hopefully not TOO soon, Chris is in California right now visiting his

family and building a guitar (I know, who's ever heard of someone building their own guitar?)

But that's all Chris wanted for his birthday last month, and this worked

out to be the best timing.

He'll be back next week but I warned him he better catch the first flight home

if I go into labor!

I think we'll be fine, but it still makes me a little nervous not having him here :)

 

My cute brother and sister-in-law had their precious baby boy last week.

They had to be induced for medical reasons (our due dates were only 12 days apart)

and it's making me SO much more anxious to meet my little guy!

But at the same time, seeing them is reminding me to take advantage of my sleep while I can :)

 

So for now I'll just be content nesting like a mad woman.

Hospital bags are nearly packed, car is cleaned, clothes are washed and put away.

I just need to install his car seat and I think we'll be good to go!!

Can't wait to see your sweet face, little one!!

Chris the Cripple

Look at this handsome devil,

all excited to go into surgery :)

 

A few months ago, my love injured his shoulder while lifting weights

and has been waiting it out to see if it would heal and get better on its own.

Then a couple weeks ago, he had an MRI and they diagnosed the labral tear

and decided it would need to get fixed and scheduled the surgery right then and there.

 

He loves that I document everything :)



 

Obviously for me and my selfish self, not the most ideal of timing, being so pregnant.

He won't be able to pick up Scarlett for two months, which is very unfortunate.

But in a sense, we're glad it happened now and that he got it fixed before dental school started.

 

*His drugged-up cheesey smile



 

He has been such a trooper though.

And though this last week has been kinda rough with lack of sleep

and trying to take care of a recovering husband and a very teething/needy toddler,

I reflected today how incredibly blessed I am.

It's been a reality check of how lucky and spoiled I've been.

Chris is the most amazing and helpful husband that I could've ever imagined.

And I realized just how much he did for us now that he can't for the time being.

He did most of the cooking, helps SO much with Scarlett, and takes such good care of me.

I feel blessed to be able to serve him at least in some little way with our current situation.

(Tonight, I even made him scrambled eggs that were edible!)

 

One of the hardest things is that he hasn't been able to play with Scarlett as much,

and she misses her daddy like crazy.

But they've gotten some pretty good cuddles in while he rests :)

So, thank you, Chris!

For being so amazing: here's to a speedy recovery!!

 



 

PS- I was really just excited to see how he would react after his first

anesthesia experience.  I was a little heartbroken when I walked in and he asked who I was, but quickly got over it and saw a video opportunity. Sorry it's a little scandalous at the end.

 

Third Trimester and a Labor Scare

Officially in the final stretch!!  So crazy!

Things were pretty uneventful there for a while.

Heartburn, pelvic pain, waddling...

And happily loving baby's kicks, feeling his first hiccups, and dreaming of his nursery.

Then on Monday, baby boy decided to make his  mama a little worried!

I've had a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions throughout the pregnancy,

but I started noticing late in the night that they were getting more uncomfortable.

Being a good little labor nurse, I did all the tricks that I often tell my patients:

take a warm shower, drink lots of water, lie down and rest...

And I was still pretty uncomfortable.

I then started to time my contractions and they were coming every 3-12 minutes.

But they weren't super painful, so I was majorly torn.

I didn't want to look like an idiot going into the hospital being a labor nurse

only to find that absolutely nothing was happening.

But at the same time, I've seen quite a few scary situations of preterm labor,

so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person.

So after about six hours of consistent contractions,

I finally decided to go in and get checked.

I decided I'd rather look dumb and be safe than be sorry and not check if something were going on.

When they first put me on the monitor, nothing was really showing up as far as contractions

and I was starting to feel embarrassed.

(I'm delivering at a different hospital than I work at due to insurance so I

didn't have the luxury of being with my own coworkers)

But after a little adjusting of the contraction monitor, they finally started

to show up and I realized that I wasn't crazy!!

In fact, I was contracting more than I even knew,

for a while they were about every 1-2 minutes.



Excuse the no make-up and wet hair.  It was 4 AM.

So they did all the usual preterm labor workup.

My urinalysis looked perfect, my FFN was negative (indicating that preterm delivery is unlikely),

and luckily I was only 1/2 a centimeter dilated.

That's what I was most worried about.

And baby looked great too, that's also most important.

So they gave me a shot to relax my uterus, and that stuff is a miracle worker.

I hated it cause it made me feel like I was having a panic attack, but

it stopped those contractions in their tracks!

The next day I felt like a million bucks.

I didn't realize how uncomfortable I had been until it was gone.

I'm so grateful everything was okay, but I'm still paranoid that this little boy is going

to continue being a trouble maker.

I've had a few bouts of contractions since, but nothing consistent, so I'm happy :)

I guess he just wanted to remind me that he's there and that he's running the show!

You better behave, little one!

We've still got a while to go!!

To My Future Lillies: 18 months of Scarlett

Dear Miss Scarlett,

Your little personality is so cute and you're growing up so fast that I just

had to write down a few of my favorite things about you nowadays!

 

1. You are so polite and it's the cutest thing.  You say "peez" and "tank oo"

all the time.  You even thank me every time I wipe your bum!

 

2.  Your favorite foods these days are oranges and broccoli...which helps me

feel a little better about feeding you so much chicken nuggets and mac n cheese.

It balances out, right?

 

3.  You love everything music.  You dance and shake your hips to just about anything, you air-drum to the beat just like your daddy, and you beg for "more" whenever the music stops.

 

4.  Your favorite animals are cats, dogs, and monkeys.  You also love your stuffed animals.

Bedtime is not possible without Baby, Elmo, Monkey, and "Church" (your other baby doll).

And if one is missing, you ask for it by name until it is found and nestled next to you.

 

5.  Speaking of Elmo, you are obsessed.  You ask to watch Elmo all day, every day.

And your face is pretty priceless when I give in and let you watch a little bit.

 

6.  We are discovering that you have a pretty tender and sensitive soul.  If you get

in trouble or embarrassed or hurt, usually instead of crying, you just get the saddest frown, burrow

your face, and hide for a few minutes.

 

You love to play piano, and have to have a music book so that you can turn the pages

 



 

You're mastering your cheesey smile.

 

You're obsessed with brushing your teeth,

and hate when mommy and daddy try to help you.

I guess that's the daughter of a future dentist :)

 

You love bathtime!

And I love it too because I get to actually see how long your hair is.

 

 

Again, you love music.

You're daddy's little recording assistant.

 

 

First time trying pigtails!

Major fail; you hated it and they fell out after 30 seconds.

 

Daddy is your favorite person in the world!

 

 

But sometimes, mommy can make you laugh too :)

 

 

You make life so fun, little one!